By Chantee L-W
Yawning and yawning, I’m trying so desperately to stay awake. My eyes are wide open yet they feel like there glued shut; like two sand bags piled on top of each eye lid I’m fighting my sleep. I’m confused though, I went to bed at 9:00pm every night this week with my full 8 hours I should feel refreshed and rejuvenated. As I sit an ponder in [dis]belief, that a person could get so much sleep yet feel as if she hasn’t slept in days. So I went to the doctor’s office and had a sleep study; my doctor tells me that he has bad news, I have sleep apnea and now I get to sleep with a big bulky mask next to my boyfriend every night.
Thankfully, my boyfriend loves me for me so this new sexy sleep wear shouldn’t be an issue. I go in and get fitted for my mask, everything’s cool at first; but then the doctor turns the CPAP on and a big gush of wind comes blowing down my throat choking me, making me feel as if I’m drowning gasping for air. That night, I went home and tried my CPAP for the first time. I wasn’t able to sleep much, I was too busy fighting for my life in the epic battle between nostril and air. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, there has to be an alternative to this monstrosity. For this cannot be how I’m supposed to spend the rest of my days living. I give it about a week before I call the doctor to notify him that this is just not working out. Even though this mask is a pain and the air from the CPAP bloats my stomach overnight, it’s still better than the migraines I used to get and the constant falling asleep whenever wherever.
My doctor told me that if I lost a significant amount of weight that I could possibly sleep like a normal person again. So that’s just what I did, it took almost a year and a half to go from 375 lbs. to 215 lbs. Even after my weight loss, I still need to use my CPAP every night. My goal is to get to 190 lbs. hopefully, by then I’ll be able to sleep normal again. It makes sense that I have sleep apnea though, all of the women on my mother’s side of the family have it as well as the men on my father’s side. Although, I didn’t show signs until after I had a tumor removed from my spinal cord in which made me gain a hundred pounds because they had me on steroids for months to keep the swelling down around my back.