CPAP

By Spencer F

There once was a very happy boy, who lived in a very happy forest, with

some very happy animals. One night, Christian Peter Alexander Parson, CPAP for

short, woke up startled in the middle of the night (this had been going on all

his life, so it didn’t bother him much).”Man! said CPAP, I wonder why this

happens.” CPAP went to the doctors office, but CPAP left the office with the

same information that he always left with when he went there, “just walk it off

CPAP.” Frustrated after 300 long years of waking up in the middle of the night,

or waking up in the wee hours of the morning feeling tired, he decided to take

matters into his own hands.
The very next day, a very tired CPAP went to work building his own lab,

he did have a PhD in building after all! Once he was done building a well

ventelated FDA approved organic lab, he went to the science store and bought a

massage chair, an electrode bed, and an x-ray machine. His first hypothesis was

that his bed was simply not comfortable enough, so he slept in his massage

chair. Once again; however, he woke up the next morning feeling tired.
Next he tried sleeping in an x-ray machine, he figured that it would be

nice to sleep while being bombarded with x-rays. The next morning he woke up

tired yet again, but as he was looking at the scanning screen, he notice that

his air pipes were not the way they should be, so he took drastic measures.
The next day, he tried the electrode bed, he hooked the electrodes up

to his medulla oblongata. Unfortunately he had to stop, because he was

breathing so much that he almost just filled up with air an floated away. He

then decided to hook it up to his air pipes to shock them into proper

existence. That sadly did not work either.
He decided he had to give up, but the next morning he woke up and found

he was well rested, he also found that there was a fan in his mouth blowing air

down his mouth. Wow he said, I should sell these fans, and so he did. He built

a more streamline version, and named it after himself, and that is how the CPAP

was born.

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